Trading Liberty for a Little Temporary Security

I got this in the August 17, 1999 edition of The Liberator Online, the email newsletter of the Advocates for Self-Government. Go here to subscribe. The Advocates are the keepers of the World's Smallest Political Quiz.
A young man driving a covered pickup and towing an empty livestock trailer showed up in a small rural town in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas.

The young man stopped at the general store where three old men were sitting outside.

"I've heard that there are lots of wild hogs in the woods around here," he told the old men.

"Yes, there are plenty of them 'round abouts," one of them replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I plan to get me a trailer full of them," the young man said.

The three old men laughed and one said, "Sonny, lots of folks have come here for these hogs, but not a one of these people have caught any, and a few of them were never seen again. These hogs are smart, tough and fiercely independent critters and we think you are wasting your time and risking your life."

But the young man insisted, and finally the old men gave him directions.

About a week later the young man returned to the store, his trailer full with two dozen wild hogs.

The three old men were astonished. "How did you do this, sonny?" one asked.

The young man said, "It was easy. I went to a small open field in the woods you directed me to and just threw out a few ears of corn from my pickup truck.

"Then I waited a couple of days and finally a few young wild hogs came out, grabbed the corn and disappeared back into the woods.

"Once they left, I cut some poles and erected a single rail fence about 20 feet long.

"With that done, I threw out a few more ears of corn next to the fence and waited.

"Sure as heck, the next day the young hogs came back, walked around the rail, grabbed up the corn and ran back into the woods. Right then and there I knew my plan would work.

"I built another 20 foot section of fence joining the first at a right angle, threw out about a half-dozen more ears of corn, and waited.

"The next day, a few older hogs showed up along with the young ones, quickly grabbed up the corn and ran back in the woods.

"Then I built a third section to the fence, leaving only one side of the pen open. I threw out about a dozen more ears of corn, and waited."

"Right on schedule, the next morning a dozen wild hogs showed up, walked around the three sides of the fence and grabbed up the corn. But this time a couple of the bigger hogs grabbed a few ears of corn each -- and started eating right there. This caused a minor skirmish amongst the hogs since there were not quite enough ears of corn for all of them.

"After they all ran back into the woods I immediately built the last side of the fence, but I left a space where the hogs could still enter. I threw in all the remaining corn I had.

"The next morning, two dozen hogs showed up, walked around the fence until they found the entrance, went on inside, and started feasting, oblivious to the fact that while they were feasting and fighting over the corn, I was closing up the entrance to the pen."

"Well the rest was easy," the young man said. "I just backed my livestock trailer up to the fence, opened the gate, and herded them all onto my livestock trailer.

"Now, it's off to the slaughter house for these hogs," he chuckled, waving to the old men as he drove off.

The moral: Fellow hogs, we've all been penned -- but where do they take us from here?


Go home.
Last updated: 18 August, 1999.